Saturday, 13 September 2014


It's sad how death can separate 2 persons to 2 different worlds in just a few seconds
It's sad how when one dies, the pain occurs in both the person dying, and the people living
Is it sadder for the person dying? or for the person living?
One not being able to accompany another anymore
The regrets, the agony
Everyone would die, just different timings
Dying cannot be avoided
People know that
But why are they still being so sad,
Or causing huge impact to themselves,
Just because they cannot accept it
The pain of people leaving
Someone familiar no longer there
Regrets of not spending more time with them
Regrets of not treating them better
People are slaves of life
Life is so short, why cant everybody enjoy it, doing what they want?
Why must life be difficult
And why must people die?
If you loved something, 
should you hold on till the very end, to show your persistent,
or let it go so it dont cease to be what you loved.
Would you do your best for them for their last,
or would you leave them alone and just leave?
If you let it go, would it come back?
What if it dont?
What if its gone forever?
How do we deal with the pain?

Sometimes, its the selfishness in humans which causes us to not move on,
causes us to hurt ourselves time and again even after many lessons

How to not be selfish.
In the first place, its not easy.
Would you donate your liver to a total stranger?
Would you give up an event that you've prepared for long just cause someone else needed it?
Not many can say yes.
How to even deal with emotions
Who has the confidence to deal with their emotion?
Many of a time, we humans needs support in our lives
Be it from family, friends, or someone else
But who can say they share anything and everything with their support?
Sometimes even though you know they would support you and not tell tales,
But there is still that "____" there which stops you from telling everything
At least there's still still a secret within yourself.
Sometimes, its just shameful to share
Sometimes, afraid of being a burden
Sometimes, dont know how to start
Sometimes, many other reasons
Friends are important
Fun friends are great
They can help relieve some bad emotions by joking around
Giving advice
Even if you are feeling down, they will be there for you, cheering you up
Even though they seemed like jokers, but there are serious times
Trying their best to help within their limits
I'm glad to have my friends around
Even though we dont really talk alot about our relationships with people, family, friends, etc
But they are of some kind of emotional support, because I know I can count on them
Of course, my family too
Even though I dont express myself, we dont talk much
And I sometimes dont know how to ask for help, or express myself, tell something I'm concerned with
But how we expressed ourselves is through small gestures we made
Like buying something for each other when we know they need it
Spending every Saturday together
Showing care and concern through naggings -.-
Naggings are annoying, but its actually a form of blessing
Somewhat an indication of people concerning themselves about you
Its a blessing in disguise
Sometimes I'm sorry for being an unexpressed person
I love them very much but I dont express it
I dont know how and I dont know and I'm not used to it
I'm glad to know people that I've known, be it my enemy, friends, classmates, family, teammates, somebody I know
For you all have been in my life, been through moments of my life with me
Be it scolding me, hating me, teaching me, making me realize who I should keep in my life
I thank you
For those who stayed, and those who left 

I keep forgetting things -.-
Keep forgetting what I want to type
But I hope my post can become something which make people think and cherish what you have
Cherish what you have now for it would not be with you forever, or as long as you live
Everybody leaves at different time
Some leave for a reason
Some just leave
But people leave
Its just when the time comes
Hiding of emotions
Many people hide their emotions
You can deny for all you want, but I know you do
People hide their emotions and put on a mask everyday
Isn't it tiring?
It is tiring. But why do so many people still do that?
Because there is no point showing their emotions
They are afraid of being a burden
Afraid people might laugh
Afraid of trusting the wrong person
Many are in pain, troubled heart, whirling mind, sleepless nights
But still, keeping silent and faking a smile, and carry on
But if the root of the problem is still there, would it heal?
Many dont heal nor seek for help
I do self heal by creating a private twitter account and rant everything there
Furthermore, I blog my feelings I guess
But if you have problem, GTFO
I think people who read my blog and tweets have better understanding of me
Those that know me in person might not even know me that deep
I guess I'm just a playful and lazy person who cares about nothing

I have no confidence in myself
I'm often stuck in decision making
I can stay up for nights, to decide on something minor
I can regret right after I submit my decision
I regret
But what to do?
I have no courage, no confidence
Many things I want to do, even though I can do it myself, I wished for a companion
Somebody who can do things with me, so I wont be lazy
Meaning I have passion for something for just a short period of time
I cannot make myself do something for long
I have no passion
I dont know what my passion is

My life has no direction
I wish to find a direction
But where can I start with?
Somebody please give me advice
Lai, email me
I want to help people, but where?
I can send long essays to people, to give advice and encourage them
I can encourage myself, but my other self is always debating against it
Never ending debating
Is being good at debating a good or bad thing?
To debate against myself
Maybe you can send email on your problems to me too
Anyway I wont know who you are
Dont worry
I try to help
But dont send me nonsense pls
Dont spam me
Is being nice a good or bad thing?
It is suppose to be a good thing
But what if you realize that you have been taken advantage of
Should you STFU and continue to help selflessly?
Or should you go confront the person or stop helping them?
If you are treated badly even though you selflessly helped,
Would you help again if they are in trouble?
If you do, what if you get taken advantage of again?
If you dont, what if they really need your help and you could help them?

Would you offer your help?
Or do you wait for people to approach you?
I personally would wait for people to approach me
So, do approach me if you need help
I have no initiative
Although I thought I could help, I dont know where to start
Furthermore, you might not like me to bother

I have no initiative
I feel bad being around people who always initiate to help me
I'm thankful
But I just cant do the same.
I feel awkward.
Maybe I'm just not used to it?
I just feel weird
I wait for people to approach me
I dont mind helping
Even though sometimes I disturb and become naggy and make people feel bad
But I really dont mind. I'm just being playful ;)
If I can, I would
I have little friends
I only have a small circle of friends
But they have been with me since years ago
I dont make friends because I dont want unnecessary troubles and also going through the trouble of entertaining them
My circle of friends dont have big dramas in life from what I know
I'm glad we all live a quite happy life, at least from what I know
Nobody lives very tragically
I'm happy
I hope everyone around me live a happy life with no dramas
Happily ever after
Being alone is better than being with the wrong friends
I have bad friends, yes i know
But I didn't turn bad, I didn't do what they do
And I'm glad.
And I also hope they all would change for the better
  Be happy for no reason
Just be happy
You will feel happy
Life would be better
Though it's easier said than done,
No harm trying right? 
Maybe someday you would find happiness and can inspire people
Sometimes, your emotions control you
But dont make a permanent decision because of one temporary emotion
You will regret
Dont be a slave to your emotions
Dominate them
Enjoy your emotions
Be happy
Look on the brighter side for life has to go on no matter how hard life is
Life is not easy
But it has to go on
Look for strength
Purpose to carry on
Even if not yourself,
Carry on for your family and friends
For those who care
Sometimes when the pace in life is too fast
Stop to enjoy things
Maybe you have found something to enjoy,
But you just didnt know it because you are going too fast
Life is short
Everything is going fast
Slow down and maybe you will see things differently
Have days where you truly enjoy and rest
Treat yourself better
Take stops in life when tired
Life is short
No point chionging when you cannot bring anything except yourself into the coffin
Try to not let other's affect you
Be yourself
Its your life
Take advice, but not follow blindly
Dont let people laugh at you because you are different
Laugh at them because they are all the same
Do what is right and not just follow blindly
Because the majority might not be correct
Do what you think is right
Well, it just happened.
I had thoughts
I had more
But I want to sleep
Its 730am already

I might be good in thinking and typing
I'm better in typing than speaking
I can console people online but not face to face
I wont know what to do or say
Maybe I think I'm right
But some part of me just wants to debate with myself
Such horrible split personality I have
I hope I can achieve happiness
I hope you can too

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This is emotional
Time for some jokes
Fact : Hongkong is the only place in the world which you can pronounce without your lips touching
Another fact : This is how you look 
If a fatty do yoga everyday, in 3 months, he would become a flexible fatty
Same logic
If a fatty everyday do exercise, he would become a healthy fatty
If a fatty everyday eat very little, he would become a weak fatty
If a fatty everyday dont eat, he would be a dead fatty
Its just a joke, no bad intentions
Sorry, my fault.
Read on
Just wear bigger shirt ok?
Its your shirt that makes you fat 
Its not because you are fat
Its because you are hot
Hot things expand 
Dont know if I salvaged the situation
Laozi go first 

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